Brewery

Meet the Beerworkers

Adam DeBower

Glorified Janitor

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Adam DeBower

Glorified Janitor

Hometown?
Austin, TX

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
I’m the head cellar-man. I manage fermentation, filtration, and packaging. But really I’m just a glorified janitor. In my spare time, I’m a brewery mechanic and engineer.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Nudie-booth cleaner, also a type of glorified janitor.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Breaking Bad, for obvious reasons

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Stephen Colbert, and it would probably be our Fire Eagle IPA, but with 50% more Screeee! and dry hopped with America.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon.
Bed and/or shower.

Drinking game you were really really bad at.
All of them, equally. However, I excel at shotgunning.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
Can-lid dropper. It used to be the DE filter, but then I replaced it with a much more friendly unit.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of.
Diet Coke can.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
This is a trick question; only women “make love.” But the answer is Einhorn.

What rhymes with deer?
Racketeer

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Will Golden

Dance Troop Leader, Life Coach

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Will Golden

Dance Troop Leader, Life Coach

Hometown?
The parts unknown or Frederick, MD.

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Head brewer, dance troop leader, life coach.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Wrestling gators.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Rip Torn, a doppelweissenpilsimperialblackipa.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon.
Church

Drinking game you were really really bad at.
None I crush all opposition and bathe in the blood of my foes! Not really – pretty bad at asshole.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
Broken shit.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of.
Not what I have drank from but filled. A prosthetic leg with a Chuck Taylor On the end of it.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
The Missile Dropkick, it is gentle and generous lover.

What rhymes with deer?
Dick punch

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Michael Graham

Keeps 'Em Happy

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Michael Graham

Keeps 'Em Happy

Hometown?
Austin, TX

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Try my best to keep our accounts and customers happy.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Paying to drink other people’s beer.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Anything but ‘Intervention’.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Homer Simpson. ‘4 Finger Pils’.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon.
Over the corpse of my dueling opponent.

Drinking game you were really really bad at.
Bad meaning bad, or bad meaning good?

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
Adam’s digestive system.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of.
My umbilical cord. Just kidding. My mother is a saint.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
We didn’t name it ‘Black Thunder’ because it was a slouch in bed.

What rhymes with deer?
Bold and clean consistently exceptional locally canned craft beer.

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Mike McGovern

Signs Your Check

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Mike McGovern

Signs Your Check

Hometown?
New York City (Queens)

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
The most important jobs of course, the ones that are handled from behind a desk. Distribution, pay bills, and most importantly of all I keep the beer workers happy (payroll)

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
The same thing I was doing before ABW, international playboy on a tight budget.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Smokey and the Bandit. Of course we would have to change Texarkana to Austin and Coors Original to ABW.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Jay Chandrasekhar. I’m pretty sure a good amount of beer was consumed during the writing and making of Super Troopers and Beer Fest. I would be honored if ABW could help lube the wheels of inspiration. With that said the beer would be either Missile Drop Kick or Flying head butt(both are 9.8% ABV). Might as well lube the crap out of those wheels.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon.
On my computer searching discount travel websites. I did say I was on a budget.

Drinking game you were really really bad at.
The question does not apply. I’ve never been bad at anything.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
The ink jet printer. Damn you low ink warning.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of.
A rugby boot (cleats for you non-rugby types)

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Sputnik. Its bold, dark and delicious. And when you think you’ve had enough and just want to go to sleep the coffee kicks in and you’re back in for another round.

What rhymes with deer?
Meers burger (Meers, OK)

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Chance

News & Shoes

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Chance

News & Shoes

Hometown?
I grew up on the corner of squalor and bedlam here in Austin, Tx.

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
That’s a great question…

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
International correspondent for Al Jazeera America or cobbling shoes.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
87’ season of Alf (the first TV series to be presented in surround sound).

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Smokey the Bear, and it would be a pine cone porter.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
In my hand. In Texas.

Drinking game you were really bad at?
Facebook, High School.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment at the brewery?
Colin’s music player.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
I’ll just say at my end it was a hose.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Indubitably Black Thunder.

What rhymes with deer?
Belvedere, outer ear, and planetary gear.

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Colin

Jack of Few Trades

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Colin

Jack of Few Trades

Hometown?
Austin, TX

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
I’m a brewer. A Jack of few trades. A master of absolutely nothing.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
James Bond’s stunt double. Also spending a lot more money on beer.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Toddlers and Tiaras

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Kevin Bacon. A delicious barrel aged beer brewed with bacon, served at precisely 6 degrees Celsius.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon.
Not necessarily at noon, but I am a strong advocate of the shower beer.

Drinking game you were really really bad at.
None. I’m awesome at them all.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
The sample ports that repeatedly scar my back.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of.
5 gallon bucket

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
After imagining a lot of really awful things, I’ve decided on Einhorn. That German unicorn would show me a magical time.

What rhymes with deer?
Richard Gere

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Ross

Unlicensed Legal Council

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Ross

Unlicensed Legal Council

Hometown?
1980 Airstream

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Play horrible hip-hop on the stereo.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Playing horrible hip-hop in the 1980 Airstream.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Doomsday Preppers.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Alex Jones. American Government Transparency Ale.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
Wouldn’t you like to know.

Drinking game you were really bad at?
Staying sober.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment at the brewery?
Time Clock.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
I plead the 5th.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Whatever’s free.

What rhymes with deer?
Everclear shots.

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Nick

Fully Robust

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Nick

Fully Robust

Hometown?
The Shire

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
HEB Fluffer

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Touring with Phish

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Fraggle Rock

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
George R. R. Martin, The Wiener that Ales U

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
Hogwarts

Drinking game you were really bad at?
Life

What is your least favorite piece of equipment at the brewery?
The toilet because it destroys what I create

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
A human skull

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Einhorn because Unicorns are always horny.

What rhymes with deer?
My beard, my giant man mane of a full robust beard.

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Tomcat

Charlie Work

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Tomcat

Charlie Work

Hometown?
Sutton, Vermont

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
I package beer and tackle Charlie-work.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
I guess I’d go back to being a drifter.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Breaking Bad.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
I would brew a pumpkin porter for Jack Black.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
In the shower.

Drinking game you were really really bad at?
I’m terrible at King’s Cup.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
The can line from twist rinse to just past the lid dropper. (From tail to horn)

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
A growler with a crazy straw during a birthday edition of Growler Power Hour. (not recommended)

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
I would lay Sputnik down on a bear rug by a fire with a box of fine chocolates and some French poetry… in the mountains somewhere… at high elevation. That’s where I see myself in five years.

What rhymes with deer?
Getcha hot dogs here!

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Jason

Good at Rhyming

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Jason

Good at Rhyming

Hometown?
Dillon, Texas.

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Lately, mostly workin’ on healing this hole in my leg.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Living in a van, down by the river.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Mad Men.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Burt Reynolds - Rauchbier.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
Wherever I am at noon.

Drinking game you were really bad at?
Drinking…games? Drinking isn’t a game. It’s a way of life.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment at the brewery?
The El Camino.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
An actual boot.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Definitely Soul Glo.

What rhymes with deer?
bandoleer, cheer, sear, rear, bio-engineer, tear, fear, mere, leer, volunteer, brigadier, sincere, unclear, severe, premier, cohere, adhere, cashier, frontier, mutineer, electioneer, conventioneer, engineer, imagineerTM, appear, profiteer, gondolier, cavalier, commandeer, clear, interfere, sphere, steer, sneer, smear… Ok, I’m bored and mostly out of inoffensive rhymes.

Love, Jason.

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Mr. Ed

Ain't Afraid of no Ghosts

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Mr. Ed

Ain't Afraid of no Ghosts

Hometown?
Denver, Co.

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Packaging Department

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Claiming I was going to go to welding school, but secretly wishing I was working at ABW.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Always Sunny In Philadelphia

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
I’d make Bill Murry a wit beer and call it Ghost Blaster

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
On my front porch with my lady and my dogs.

Drinking game you were really really bad at?
Bottle caps

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
The pallet wrapper, gets me dizzy every time.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
My sweaty hat

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Sputnik

What rhymes with deer?
I fear no beer!

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Short Mel

Kicks Ass

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Short Mel

Kicks Ass

Hometown?
Austin, TX

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Kick ass. I also package the beer you drink.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Still kicking ass. But at an oil and gas data software startup.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Nothing says “class” like Jersey Shore.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Sir Ian McKellen – English Stout

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
Tubing on the Guadalupe. Or in my shower. Either way, a water sport is involved.

Drinking game you were really really bad at?
Any that require the smallest amount of motor skills.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
Fillus.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
A trumpet.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Black Thunder, am I right ladies?

What rhymes with deer?
BEER!

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Kelly

Says 'No' a lot

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Kelly

Says 'No' a lot

Hometown?
Right in the middle.

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Tell people ‘No’.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Tell people ‘Yes’.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Nothing filmed in Austin. The production quality is terrible!

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Van Morrison – Irish Stout.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
A ‘bank run’.

Drinking game you were really bad at?
Not getting pregnant.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment at the brewery?
The rat trap under my desk.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
Banana hammock.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
That Van Morrison one, once we make it.

What rhymes with deer?
No.

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Jody

Microaggressor

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Jody

Microaggressor

Hometown?
Texas. The good part. You know the one.

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Who’s asking?

If you weren’t doing this, what would you be doing?
Paying a lot more for beer.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Nothing with Chris Hanson

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Rough Rider IPA for Teddy Roosevelt.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
In a saloon. Are we not rhyming yet?

Drinking game you were really bad at?
Russian Roulette.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment at the brewery?
Specifically? The arm that pushes cans into the seamer… And everything its connected to.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
Probably a cowboy boot. Actually, a trombone. There’s nothing strange about drinking from a boot. Unless you’re from California. Or Chile.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Fire Eagle. Might need to wear protection, by which I mean a flame retardant parachute.

What rhymes with deer?
That’s my beer! Better steer clear, ya hear?

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Kai

Family Man

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Kai

Family Man

Hometown?
Home is where the family is.

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Instigate merchandise policies.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Attending a family reunion.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Family Matters.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
My cousin, Dave Matthews – It’d be a nonalcoholic beer called ‘Don’t Crash Into Me’.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
Home (which is where the family is).

Drinking game you were really bad at?
Edward 40 hands.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment at the brewery?
The employee bio page.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
Family urn.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
The entire family.

What rhymes with deer?
Screeeeeeer!

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Austin

Accounts Cowboy

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Austin

Accounts Cowboy

Hometown?
South Dakota

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Make everyone look better by association.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Sex Cowboy

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Honey Boo Boo.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Shakira, “Hips Don’t Lie” Mexican Lager.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
A Discotek.

Drinking game you were really bad at?
All of them.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment at the brewery?
The vans.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
A shoe.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Lotion in the Basket.

What rhymes with deer?
Leer.

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Jamie

Rainbows & Unicorns

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Jamie

Rainbows & Unicorns

Hometown?
Candyland

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Merch, fight off evil beer fairies, head of selfie dept.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Unicorn breeder.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Sailor Moon.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Paul Hogan – That’s a Knife Croc Bock

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
Atop my faithful steed.

Drinking game you were really bad at?
Hopscotch.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment at the brewery?
The toilet.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
8” leather platform boots.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Mr Sparkle.

What rhymes with deer?
Tears for Beers.


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Nick Pugs

Arousal Specialist

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Nick Pugs

Arousal Specialist

Hometown?
Point of Rocks, MD

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Market fluffer.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Regular fluffer.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Hoarders. I’d love to see a house literally full of empty ABW cans.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
I’d brew a barleywine for William Byrd Golden.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
In bed or in the shower.

Drinking game you were really bad at?
Being ugly.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment at the brewery?
Keurig coffee maker.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
Keurig coffee maker.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Black Thunder.

What rhymes with deer?
Up-the-rear.

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Erick

Criminal Buster

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Erick

Criminal Buster

Hometown?
Spurbury, Vermont

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
I gotta bust criminals! It’s what I gotta do!

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
16 and Pregnant.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Person: Chad Kroeger of Nickeback. Beer: Bud Light.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
Shenanigans.

Drinking game you were really bad at?
That one with Viagra and sweatpants.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment at the brewery?
The van I drive.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
A brassiere.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
I don’t want a beer, I want a GD liter o’ cola!

What rhymes with deer?
I’m not even gonna dignify myself with a response to that.

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Big Joe

Big

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Big Joe

Big

Hometown?
Austin, Texas

What do you happen to do at Austin Beerworks?
I happen to be the tallest person at Austin Beerworks.

If you weren’t doing this, what would you be doing?
I’d be the tallest person at another job.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Friends.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
I’d make a beer for George McFly. It would be similar to our Kolsch and Lorraine would melt in his arms.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
School.

Drinking game you were really bad at?
The Limbo.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
Pretty much any of our countersink flanges. I’ve been convinced that we’ve been experiencing hydraulic torque leak on at least 3 of these. Our Dorry flanges have been suspect as well. But I guess that makes sense. We’ve been pushing our equipment past 7,000 RQMs pretty regularly. Takes a lot of skill to ensure this stuff works well and that the beer tastes good.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
My own mouth.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Peacemaker.

What rhymes with deer?
Haha, smear!

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Isabel

Can only turn left

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Isabel

Can only turn left

Hometown?
ATX, duh.

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Sling beer. Listen to your problems. ABW evangelist.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
"Where others turn right, I tend to turn left".  So uhhh, standing in the parking lot next door wishing I had a beer?

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Always Sunny in Philadelphia. That time they learned to Renegade.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Uhhh, RDJ? He's sober, right? So I could have it all to myself? Iron Man Sour Pale Ale (he's sour because he can't have any)

Or...

David Bowie cause it would turn into an orgy. Goblin King IPA

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
Next to my other beer?

Drinking game you were really really bad at?
"Be the most sober person at the party."

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
The playground. It's impossible to find, but the toddlers keep coming.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
A bellybutton?  MY bellybutton.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Wet Hop. Cause it would be moist and forward.

What rhymes with deer?
The story of King Lear, Shakespeare's greatest example of flattery being the folly of men. It's a tragedy of human nature and reason, and exemplifies the dichotomy of "madness in reason" and "wisdom in folly." Shakespeare illustrates the story of two societies; one of competition and glory, and one of cooperation and respect, which is a great allegory for the craft brewing industry...

Uhhh...

...Just kidding. BEER!

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Mary

Faster Than a Zombie

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Mary

Faster Than a Zombie

Hometown?
Grand Prairie, TX. City moto “Dream Big, Play Hard”. It was named based on maps around 1850 that labeled the land between Dallas and Fort Worth as “the grand prairie of Texas”.

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Sling beers, charm customers, break hearts.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Sleeping. I am a big fan of the nap.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
The Walking Dead. How cool would it be to see a zombie missing his jaw trying to shotgun a Peacemaker?

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
I would brew Sputnik for Grumpy Cat. I think the caffeine would perk him up a little. And Sputnik is so good, he might even crack a smile.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
On the porch of the Starlight Theatre in Terlingua, TX

Drinking game you were really bad at?
All of them. Especially the ones that require you to drink a beer quickly. But I could probably shotgun a beer faster than a zombie.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment at the brewery?
The air conditioner that never existed.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
A beer pitcher. But that is more hedonistic than weird.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Fire Eagle #screeeee (sex noises would be crazy weird)

What rhymes with deer?
Davy Crockett, (King of the wild frontier!)

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Sarah

Honorary Texan

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Sarah

Honorary Texan

Hometown?
Can’t I just be accepted as a Texan yet?

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Pour beer & give tours.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Medical school, damnit.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
When one of you can rig me some tv cable, I’ll let you know.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
I would feed my rauchbier to Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein. He would call me Vampira. Then the Misfits would get back together.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
The only probable answer: bed.

Drinking game you were really bad at?
Changing light bulbs.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment at the brewery?
The air conditioning. I think maybe we should have that looked at.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
My cousin used to drink beer out of a big, dead pufferfish as a party trick. Me? Maybe inappropriate glassware for the style at hand.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Half Joe Pêche and half Gold Fist.

What rhymes with deer?
BEER!!

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Scott

Stunt Double

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Scott

Stunt Double

Hometown?
Austin, TX.

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Beerslinger, stunt-double for Will Golden.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Hunting, camping, and fishing.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
BBQ Pitmasters.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
I’d brew a Munich Helles for Nikola Tesla.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
In a tube, on the river.

Drinking game you were really bad at?
Quarters. I keep wanting to pocket the game pieces.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment at the brewery?
The samoflange. What the heck is a samoflange, anyway?

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
A hollowed-out ox horn. Or maybe it was a cow’s horn. Some kind of large mammal horn, at any rate.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Sputnik, ‘cause I like em stout!

What rhymes with deer?
Tears for Fears.

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Brandon

Orange

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Brandon

Orange

Hometown?
Williamsport, Maryland

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
I break everything.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Partying with sluts.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Maury.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what
would the beer be?

Kevin Spacey, Helles Lager.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon.
On the courthouse steps with a questionable lady friend.

Drinking game you were really really bad at.
Twister.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
Heaters.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of.
Moose knuckle.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Black Thunder.

What rhymes with deer?
Orange.

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Kimmy

Hairy Potter

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Kimmy

Hairy Potter

Hometown?
Magical Hippie Land

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Keep everyone up on the current trends (fur vests are in). Also, accounting.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Shopping at all the local thrift stores or working on my tiny house or picking pumpkins or driving to Marfa.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Full House.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what
would the beer be?

Johnny Depp, and it would be a Hipster-style Hefe, using nothing but retro-styled grains.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
My stand up desk while looking busy.

Drinking game you were really really bad at?
Shotgun Friday.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
Our delivery driver named Jason.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of.
A mound of clay with a hole in it. I hadn’t quite finished making it into a mug yet, but sometimes you just can’t wait.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
The one that’s best at hacking.

What rhymes with deer?
Rhyming was so 1990’s.

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Aaron

Barely Legal

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Aaron

Barely Legal

Hometown?
The 512.

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
I’m still not sure.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Slowly dying in the back of a grocery store.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Yo Gabba Gabba.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what
would the beer be?

Pat Green-Box Wine

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
Playground

Drinking game you were really really bad at?
7 Minutes in heaven.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
Canning Line – it makes me work.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
Pokemon Skull

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Gold Fist- I love getting fisted.

What rhymes with deer?
Ow, I hurt my back.

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Peder

Peder's Son

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Peder

Peder's Son

Hometown?
SALT LAKE CITY.

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
I gently caress Fillus.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?I
Dancing for nickels.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Check it out! with Dr Steve Brule.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what
would the beer be?

A smoked bourbon barrel aged barley wine for Mr Paul Newman.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon.
Golf course.

Drinking game you were really really bad at.
Any that required actual skill.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
Low profile pallet jacks.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of.
Nothing too strange. I’m a classy man.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Pearl-Snap. All day and all night.

What rhymes with deer?
I’m here to drink all the beer. Get used to it.

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Ben

DJ / Mother Lover

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Ben

DJ / Mother Lover

Hometown?
Odessa, Texas 8-(

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
DANCE PARTY DJ that sometimes pours beers.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Patiently biding my time.....waiting....watching...

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Dog the Bounty Hunter. The episode where Colin gets repeatedly tasered in the spine for playing Katy Perry.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Steven Seagal, 'Star-Spangle-Hammered' Triple-American-Imperial-Fuck-Yeah-IPA.

Favorite place to have a beer at noon?
Backseat of your mom's car.

Drinking game you were really really bad at.
Since losing means that you get to drink, I was bad at all of them...or good at all of them, however you want to look at it.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
Ross's hat collection.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of.
Ross's hat collection.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Belgian IPA. I'd make her yell at me in Dutch. Rawr.

What rhymes with deer?
William Shatneer

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Felicia

Fixes tractors and cattle

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Felicia

Fixes tractors and cattle

Hometown?
Canyon Lake, Texas

What do you do at Austin Beerworks?
Account Management and making life happier, one beer at a time.

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing?
Something similar. You know, oiling a tractor, castrating cattle or maybe harvesting corn.

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in?
Bob’s Burgers.

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be?
Hugh Jackman. American Pale Ale - APAmantium
“Hey Bub, this ain’t no Foster’s.”

Favorite place to have a beer at noon.
Pinthouse Pizza.

Drinking game you were really really bad at.
I hate to admit it, Beer Pong.

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery?
A blown keg on the tap wall.

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of?
A birthday hat.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to?
Black Thunder. She’s sweet and will make you forget how silly you look after she’s done having her way with you. 

Yes, the Black Thunder is a ‘she.’ Plus, she’s a great help in the kitchen.

What rhymes with deer?
Bwaaaahaahaaabeeeeeeer!

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Owen

Head Broer

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Owen

Head Broer

Hometown? 

The armpit of Wyoming

What do you do at Austin Beerworks? 

Jerk the packs

If you weren’t doing this what would you be doing? 

I would still be a professional band groupie

What TV show would you like to see ABW make a cameo in? 

The World's Strongest(Swollest) Man Competition

If you could brew a beer for a famous person, who would it be and what would the beer be? 

John Mayer - a bro-ley wine I mean barley wine

Favorite place to have a beer at noon? 

On the disc golf course

Drinking game you were really really bad at? 

That's a good one - a real knee slapper

What is your least favorite piece of equipment in the brewery? 

The keg washer

Strangest thing you’ve drank beer out of? 

A disc golf disc ...and a disc golf bag and a disc golf basket. Don't think that last one is possible - well it is.

Which ABW beer would you most like to make love to? 

Peacemaker because I'm a lover not a fighter

What rhymes with deer? 

Bro-eer

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